Don't Ever Call Me Mother: Homeless In My Own Home

A Gripping Story of Surviving Abuse

After her mother dies, young Halia tries her best to go about her life but a lingering sadness hovers over her days. She misses her mother and finds it hard to celebrate holidays like they did when her mother was alive. When her father informs her that she will have a new mother because he is going to marry a woman he met, she gets her hopes up that she will once again have a Mama to share a meaningful bond with and to enjoy in the home. But her new mother turns out to be a horrible woman who tells Halia ââ?¬Å"Donââ?¬â?¢t ever call me mother!ââ?¬Â? Thus, the title of the book, ââ?¬Å"Donââ?¬â?¢t Ever Call Me Mother: Homeless in My Own Homeââ?¬Â? by Helen Martin, tells the story of the physical, verbal, and emotional abuse she endured at the hands of the woman her father married.

As I was reading this book, I thought the abuses inflicted by the stepmother (the proverbial ââ?¬Å"evil stepmotherââ?¬Â?) would be light and infrequent. I soon discovered I was wrong! It was like the stepmother found the slightest thing to rebuke Halia and her sister, Stella, for. Anytime Stella bathed and dressed up nicely to go out with her friends, the stepmother pretty much taunted her like she was soliciting physical pleasure from boys. At one point, the things she says are so hurtful that Stella runs out of the house crying.

The way she treats Halia is just as bad. Halia loves her father, and she is close to him, but anytime she sits on his lap or even talks to him, her stepmother taunts her and calls her a baby. It gets so bad that Halia starts avoiding communicating with her father because even when she talks to him outside, she is screamed at and teased by her stepmother after going back inside. This creates a strain on their relationship and the father grows distant.

The stepmother calls Halia ââ?¬Å"Ugly Beakââ?¬Â? or ââ?¬Å"Bird Beakââ?¬Â? because the first time Halia ate a meal around her, she was so self-conscious of eating that she just nibbled at her food like a bird. The food thing is an issue. If Halia has a full meal on her plate, her stepmother calls her a ââ?¬Å"pigââ?¬Â? while she eats. She is not allowed to have ANY food in between meals. She is often hungry and told she cannot have food even if her stomach grumbles.

You would think that Halia�s father might say something about the way his daughter is treated but he does not. The first time the stepmother hit her, her father was in the house (and likely heard it because it was twice on the face!). But after that, she stopped hitting Halia when he was in the house. Aside from that, he does stand up for Halia on occasion. He refuses to train Halia to milk cows on the younger ones because they kick, instead opting to teach her how to do it with an older cow that does not kick. And when Halia becomes very sick with whooping cough, her father gets out of bed to take care of her, ignoring his wife screaming at him to go back to bed. He mostly ignores Halia�s presence in the home. And even after Halia finally tells him that her stepmother is hitting her, he still does nothing! Not only this, but he even has another child with her!

It is possible that Halia�s father stays with the woman no matter what happens because he feels that his daughter needs a mother, but she certainly doesn�t need a mother like that! The woman is evil, vindictive, manipulative, and selfish. She has everyone believing she is Mother of the Year, but only Halia (and maybe her Uncle Luke?) knows what the woman is truly like.

The stepmother acts like Halia isnââ?¬â?¢t even there. The only time she talks to Halia is to order her to do chores or to sit on the bench and be out of her way. So, the subtitle ââ?¬Å"homeless in my own homeââ?¬Â? makes sense.

I feel unwanted in my own home.

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It is like it is not even her own home.

There are many parts of this book that are hard to read, but upon reaching the end of it, I was filled with gratitude that the author told her story. She was very brave to recount the years she endured abuse at the hands of her stepmother. But just as Halia receives kindness from strangers in the form of food, warmth, gifts, and caring, it is such kindness that saves her in the end. I kept thinking someone would swoop in and save her many times, only to be surprised that it did not happen. No, something else happened, which I did not see coming. The story has a very satisfying ending.

ââ?¬Å"Donââ?¬â?¢t Ever Call Me Motherââ?¬Â? by Helen Martin is a heart-wrenching, challenging memoir of a child surviving years of abuse with no hope for rescue in sight. It is the story of the enduring human spirit and faith in God for help along the way. I recommend this book to anyone who appreciates reading stories of people surviving difficult childhoods as well as people who have once been in those shoes so that, like me, they can bask in the comfort and joy of someone finally finding their way out of the dark.