Are those moments of victory, success, and happiness sufficient in number, scope, and magnitude to outweigh the failures, disappointments, fear, and isolation that often color life's landscape? In Deadly Dilemma, Anthony takes you on a journey of remembrance and reflection. Everyone has a story. Sometimes, we need a nudge to revisit our stories and confront the experiences that have shaped our lives. Anthony is not famous. He is not a celebrity, an athlete, or a politician. He's an ordinary guy with a story to ...
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Are those moments of victory, success, and happiness sufficient in number, scope, and magnitude to outweigh the failures, disappointments, fear, and isolation that often color life's landscape? In Deadly Dilemma, Anthony takes you on a journey of remembrance and reflection. Everyone has a story. Sometimes, we need a nudge to revisit our stories and confront the experiences that have shaped our lives. Anthony is not famous. He is not a celebrity, an athlete, or a politician. He's an ordinary guy with a story to tell, asking that bigger question about life. He grew up in a small town in eastern North Carolina. A stellar student, he enrolled in college, where it took him ten years to get a four-year degree. He got married, started raising a family, and embarked on a lifelong career working with college students and mentors. Anthony has battled poor self-image and lack of self-esteem all his life. His daddy told him to "Get out of the way. I can't see through muddy water" and "Don't ask me for a damn thing." Those words have haunted him as he struggled to value his own self-worth. As a college counselor, Anthony's advice to young people reflects his life experience: Friends- choose them carefully, and cultivate Choices- make them wisely, and learn Consequences- embrace them graciously, and move on. "In a world where many who state their faith seem focused on 'looking' perfect, Anthony simply shares his life's highs and lows (and reflections). This book is relatable, surprising, inspiring, shocking, and believable." - Chris Arline, Guilford College '95 "The 'Deadly Dilemma' is real to all of us, and I stand with you, Anthony, in the eternal street fight to live an authentic life." - Jeff Thigpen, author of On Point: Voices and Values of Young Elected Officials
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Anthony Gurley�s Deadly Dilemma is a raw and intimate memoir that explores the tumultuous emotional journey of a man grappling with his past, his fears, and his place in the world. From his childhood in a poor North Carolina housing project to his struggles with self-worth and his attempts to reconcile with faith and family, Gurley paints a vivid portrait of his life. The story begins with a poignant letter that sets the tone, one of unvarnished truth, pain, and introspection, before taking the reader through a labyrinth of formative moments, personal trials, and eventual reckonings.
What I liked most about the book was Gurley�s ability to convey vulnerability without self-pity. The letter at the beginning is a gut punch, laying bare his struggles with depression and fear. As he recounts his childhood memories, such as a terrifying encounter with Hurricane Hazel or his days playing sports at the Boys Club, Gurley brings a sense of nostalgia tinged with melancholy. These anecdotes felt relatable, especially his longing for recognition and connection. His descriptions of trying out for the basketball team and the heartache of not making it are heartbreakingly universal moments of rejection that linger long after adolescence.
At times, Gurley�s narrative meanders, pulling the reader into minute details of his early years or internal thoughts. While this makes the book deeply personal, some passages felt overly detailed and repetitive. For example, his recounting of ironing clothes and relating it to a George Washington Carver biography is insightful but I think it could have been condensed. That said, this unfiltered style makes the memoir feel like a candid conversation with the author, one where he is unafraid to show every bruise and scar.
I appreciated Gurley�s reflections on his relationship with faith and community. His introduction to Quakerism and his attempts to find solace in religion add depth to the book. However, the most powerful sections for me were his examinations of family. The story of his father leaving when he was a child, coupled with his own feelings of inadequacy as a parent, hit me hard. It�s in these moments that the memoir transcends its specific context and becomes a universal exploration of loss and resilience.
By the time I reached the conclusion, I felt both drained and inspired. Deadly Dilemma is not a light read. It forces the reader to confront uncomfortable truths about fear, loneliness, and the human need for love and belonging. I�d recommend this book to anyone who enjoys deeply personal memoirs that wrestle with life�s big questions.
